Yup. Burnt out. That about describes it.
What am I doing? Well, nothing really. And that’s the tricky part.
What am I burnt out from exactly?
Training? I feel like I’ve fallen off the wagon here, but not really. I haven’t missed anything. I just haven’t been keeping track as closely as I normally do. I’ve given up almost entirely on Daily Mile. I just don’t have the energy. When I do wear my Garmin, it faithfully uploads it’s data to my GarminConnect account, though I haven’t logged in to edit anything lately. My calendar is full of workouts ready to be manually entered. I’m just not motivated to do it.
Family? My kids have been my focus since I’ve returned from Houston. So while they are in my care, which is typically 24/7, I’m spending time with them. That should be refreshing, but it’s just not. It’s exhausting. Parenting wasn’t meant to be a one-person job. I’m tired of being mom and dad. I long for adult conversation.
Career? I have so many rods in the fire right now, and I can’t seem to get a grasp on any of them. I spend too much time on the ones I’m passionate about…typically those that don’t put food on the table…and too little on those that pay the bills. I have so much to do, and too much time on my hands. I feel stagnant. And struggling. And hungry.
Friends? Most of them are keeping their distance, and I don’t blame them. I would. I’m not making it easy either. I’m not reaching out. I’m not asking for help. I’m lucky any of them are talking to me at all.
So what do I do? Only one thing to do…
Here’s hoping the next mile is a downhill one.
Or a pretty trail near a river.
These hill repeats are never-ending.
And I’m spent.