My Food Journey…The Early Years

If you’re following me on twitter, you’ve probably noticed I’ve been talking about food more than usual. I know…is that really possible? Yes…yes it is.

You see…11 days ago I made a significant change in my diet. 100% plant-based. That’s right. I quit dairy cold tur…tofurky? Whatever. The straw that broke the camel’s back was meeting Matt Frazier: Boston marathoner, Burning River 100 finisher, author of No Meat Athlete, and all-around cool guy. But I’ll get to that in an upcoming post.

I’ve been getting a lot of questions about this decision. Most people know that I was a vegetarian for the last five years. It’s been great…mostly. I still had some dairy sensitivities, but I was happy. Maybe I should start there. 20131023-095451.jpg
My third child, a daughter was born five years ago this past July. I wasn’t running…at all. I weighed 190lbs. My diet was a train wreck. And I didn’t care. What I did care about were these terrible migraines I was getting everyday. I visited my primary care doctor (then my OB/GYN), who referred me to a neurologist. I was scared. A neurologist? Something is wrong with my brain? Great. Panic settled in. I was convinced I had a brain tumor. Now I’m not sleeping and the migraines are getting worse as a result. He tried a bunch of pills: pills as a preventative, pills to take when you think you’re getting a migraine. Really? When I think I’m getting one? I have one now just thinking about what that feels like. Pop. Pop. This is not working.

Next step: MRI. See…I told you I have a brain tumor. We’ll see it on the scans.

Side note: Have you ever had an MRI? Of your head? I had one of my legs while I was in the Army. This was WAY more terrifying. They put your head in this cage and tell you not to move. That loud noise…is right by your head! I’ve seen enough sci-fi movies to know what happens next. Start panicking…but don’t move. And another migraine.

As if something could be worse, I now had to wait for the scans to be read. “If you could just point to the tumor…” Ok…there was no tumor. Everything was normal. But I didn’t feel any better.

Next! Elimination diet. We started with red meat (which I almost never ate) and pork (bye, bye bacon). Then seafood. And chicken. Dairy wasn’t even considered. I mean…I’m Italian, and you just took away half of my plate. There was no way you were taking my cheese.

I felt better, but not perfect. He suggested exercise, and I laughed. This was post-Army. I was on an exercise ban. I was told I would never run normally again after injuries sustained during my service. (Good thing runners are NOT normal!) So I started walking. Then a jog around the block. And the next one. I fell in love.

This is me after running my first 5k in 2009. Scary. Good thing I didn’t stop there!
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I’m not certain any one food was responsible for the headaches, and I could have easily gone back to eating meat. But after 6 months it was my new normal. After a year I decided I wasn’t going back. I was down to my Army weight again…although I had three kids since then…and bodies change. I still hadn’t run my first half marathon. It was barely a thought in my mind at this point, but I would…just a few months later. And even bigger changes were coming. But we’ll get to that in the next post. I think that’s enough embarrassing photos for now. ❤

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Learning to Fall

The last four weeks have been a struggle. Not just with running…with life. I want to write about so many topics, but I’ll stick to my running and recovery for now.

After North Coast, I didn’t want to run. At all. I was told this was normal…part of the healing process after an ultra. After all, I did it. I met all of my goals for the race and got a huge distance PR…way more than I was expecting. It was OK to take some time off. And that’s where the problem came in. I didn’t leave any.
In a week’s time, I’m running the double marathon at Run With Scissors, a trail course through Hinckley Reservation in Northeast Ohio. I know nothing about the course except for the reports of others, and a few Garmin maps. This should be terrifying interesting. 20131019-125040.jpg
A quick recap…
Week 1: Hardly any running. I managed about 10 miles of walking and a little biking. I was all but convinced my foot was broken. Running on the road for 83.5 miles can do some damage. I iced and massaged, but there was no real swelling. A nagging tightness when I rested…but I could walk without pain. I thought if I could just get my foot to crack, I’d feel better. I paced a 4mi race on Friday night without incident.

Week 2: Time to put in a little mileage. More foot stretches. Finally my foot loosened up enough. Crack! So much better. As it turns out, my Cuboid was slightly dislocated, and it likely popped back in on it’s own. I gave the foot some support with tape and compression for a few days while continuing the stretching exercises. I logged about 30 miles this week.

Week 3: Peak Week? Already? Not good. I’m not ready. I put in as many treadmill miles as I could stand. My “long run” was 25 miles…on a treadmill…over two days. It was the only way I could stand the dread. I wasn’t able to get to any trails this week, and worried I wouldn’t be ready. I knew I didn’t have to run a crazy amount of miles. The race is close, and I’m not going to make that many gains at this point. Maintenance. I just have to maintain cardio fitness, put enough stress on the legs to trigger muscle memory. No time for DOMS, boys and girls.

Week 4: Here we are. Motivation is at an all-time low. I have no goals for this race other than “finish.” I don’t care if I’m dead-last, but I’m fairly certain I won’t be. I ran 15 trail miles on Thursday, and that was a big confidence boost. I left the trail feeling positive and refreshed. Not too tired, and no DOMS on Friday. Perfect. Most of Friday was consumed with the Columbus Marathon Expo, and I did a fair amount of walking around Downtown and the event itself. This week my sleep cycle is pretty much non-existent. I’m not sure the last time I got a good 8 hours…or 6 for that matter. It’s been a while. I should be sleeping right now, but my brain is in this hyper-vigilant mode. It’s not a good place for me. I can’t relax. I feel stressed and paranoid all the time. Maybe I just need to run…

The race is next Sunday. 52.4 miles of trails for which I’m not sure I’m ready. I’ll finish. I recently met a gal who is running her first 50+ race, and it seems we have a similar pace and race plan. I’ll do what I can to encourage her, and that will get me through the race. Now I know why people stack events so close together…there’s no time to fall. You’re always racing. Of course, there’s a danger in there as well…the dreaded injury. I think if you play it smart you can keep it up for a while, but eventually you have to take time for rest and recovery.

This will be my last official race of the year. I have a few other long runs planned…a miles for years run around my birthday, and a FA50k in December that I won’t miss. But really, this is it. It makes me feel uneasy without something on the books. Sure…I have race ideas for the spring. But nothing official…yet.

Maybe it’s my time.

Time to learn how to fall.

An All Day Affair – The North Coast 24hr Endurance Run

Warning: This is going to be long. 24 hours takes quite a few words. Excuse the rambling. Here’s how I remember it: 

The journey started long before Saturday morning on September 21st, but you can read about that in prior posts.

I slept better than expected…a good 6 hours solid, plus another 2 hours resting, before my alarm went off at 4:30am. It was raining, and had been for hours. I didn’t bother checking the weather. It didn’t matter. I started the coffee and Andrea picked me up at 5:30. Off to Cleveland! We chatted through the drive and I tried to stay calm. It was going to be a long day…plenty of time to meet my goals. I kept reminding myself…just another long run.

Edgewater Park is located on the shore of Lake Erie, just west of Cleveland, Ohio. The 0.9 mile paved loop passes a beach area, rocky shore, a small marina at Whiskey Island, some train tracks, a grassy park, and back to the beach. The large pavilion located there housed the timing mat and Aid Station, with nearby bathrooms and (cold) showers. We arrived about 8am…I checked in, picked up my shirt and ankle chip. And there was Barry with coffee and 2 cans of Pringles for me. So sweet! He was running the race too, and we had met through the Facebook group for the event. Thanks Pops!

We set up the canopy we borrowed from Kate in Tent City, a tenth of a mile stretch along the west edge of the course, and I quickly pointed out how my stuff was organized: clothes, warmer clothes, socks, shoes, first aid, food. It was simple enough, but I wanted my crew to be able to find these things when I couldn’t remember my name later in the evening. We’d use the provided aid as much as possible…that’s what I paid for, right? (As it turns out, I barely touched our supplies save a few handfuls of Pringles and 2 bottles of Ensure!) It was still raining, so we left most of the gear in the car for the time being.

Andrea had a stack of cards for me…a few messages from friends, and a slew of the most awesome notes from her husband, and fellow runner, Goat. Best idea ever! I’d get more notes…as long as I kept going. I got the first one, from Goat’s coworker, as I put on my shoes.

goodluck

It means “Good Luck at the start of a journey.” I got goosebumps. It’s time.

If you’ve never seen the start of an ultra, you might be surprised. Until someone says “Go!” you might not even know you’re at a race. It’s pretty casual. This was no exception. The RD intentionally starts the race before the mat. Since the course is shy of a mile, runners need to complete exactly 111 laps to achieve 100 miles…and this makes up the difference. So runners make their way up the slight grade to the starting point, complete with ponchos and umbrellas. I’m still not sure how one runs with an umbrella. I quickly found Kelly…in her poncho…and turned around just in time for the start. Go.

nc24 start

We headed off together toward the mat. Beep. Beep. We’d hear that for a good while…every time we crossed the timing mat. Beep. Beep. One for each of us. Every time but one…I’ll get to that. Just to the right was a screen which would display our name, the number of laps, and the total distance (less the starting add-on). I thought this would get old, but it was great to see the numbers climb, especially when my watch died after 7 hours.

I only wore my watch for two reasons: first to time my run/walk intervals, and second to make sure I wasn’t running too fast. I took about two walk breaks per lap…one at the hill just beyond Tent City, and one on the long stretch along the south side of the loop. With few exceptions, I’d continue these breaks throughout. As far as speed, I stuck to a 12:30-13min pace including the walk breaks.

Beep. Beep. Still raining. Andrea had checked the weather and told us it would let up around 11am. And it did…almost exactly…but not before it got worse.

nc24 rain

Kelly was having foot issues, so we split up as she headed to the on-site podiatrist and I kept going. I had made a deal with myself…no music for the first 2 hours. Andrea remembered and was willing to fetch my iPod. I was alone at this point, and ready for a little distraction.

Beep. 20 miles. I stopped by the tent to update everyone back home. I got another card from Goat…I think this was the limerick that didn’t rhyme at the end. Or maybe the stick figure drawing of me running, proving why he was NOT an illustrator! I love that guy!

Beep. I finally met up with Kelly again…it felt like forever. Andrea kept me updated on her, but since she was just ahead, and we were running similar paces, I couldn’t catch her. We agreed to do a few more laps, putting us close to 50k, and change shoes. Most of the puddles were gone now, and I was ready for dry socks.

Beep. Beep. 50k. Time for another update. Close to 7 hours in at this point and feeling fine. I was eating and drinking regularly. Not even the slightest twinge. A quick tire change and we were off. We caught up to Jason on this lap, and the three of us chatted away.

Beep. Beep. B… Uh…three right? Screen check. Jason…Amanda…no Kelly. Jason made a joke about Kelly losing her chip and we look down. It’s gone! That’s when she realizes she didn’t put it back on after changing her socks! This is a mistake you only make once. We found it at the tent, completed another loop, and the timer thankfully advanced her a lap. From that point on…bib and chip check every time I left the tent!

My friends Stuart and Tory arrived shortly after. I thought I might need extra help getting through the night, and I didn’t want all that to fall on one person’s shoulders. Andrea had already done enough, between driving and checking on my every hour or so. So far, I was being rather responsible…eating and drinking before she asked. The three if them struggled to sit up our main tent in the already howling wind. I laughed about this for a few laps. Or maybe that’s the delirium setting in…I’m smiling, so that’s good. After setting up the tent, Tory was ready to accompany me for some miles. The one “hill” on the course was positioned perfectly…running right into the wind. We powered through.

nc24 tent city

Beep. I’ll be honest. I wasn’t worried about the first 50 miles (Goal #1). I didn’t really think about how long it would take, and knew as long as I was done by midnight, I’d have plenty of time to reach 100k (Goal #2). I had run my first 50miler back in June in 13:27. The sun was setting, and we were getting close to 50, but I didn’t have a working watch at this point and I wasn’t paying attention to the time.

Beep. 56 laps. 50.5 miles. Tory and I made our way back to the tent and picked up Andrea and Stuart. We ran to where the estimated 51 mile mark would be, and celebrated the mileage PR before grabbing food at the Aid Station and taking a break. On the way back I crunched the numbers in my head. 50 miles in…11:27? A 2hour PR? No way. My crew confirmed my math. Yup. 2 hours. I was shocked. And happy. And way ahead of schedule! Beep.

Here’s where my memory gets a little fuzzy. I’m happy to report I didn’t ever feel dizzy or nauseous (save one gagging incident…as the night gets later, I learned to stop moving while eating.). I kept my wits about me, and never felt like a zombie (Thanks ENERGYbits!). I didn’t feel tired, and forced myself to eat often enough. 

Follow the plan: Eat. I grabbed a cup of salty rice, and a vegan bean roll up. It didn’t have the same appeal as 2 hours prior. I hoped that second order of pizza was on the way soon. I needed to change clothes but there was no way I was going in the tent. Too tempting. I changed into clean dry clothes right there. I wasn’t planning on switching to my last pair of shoes until after 100k, but my feet were ready for more room. I still needed more calories, so I drank an Ensure. That did it. Time to warm up. And I needed my jacket for the wind now!

Beep. 55 miles. Beep. 60 miles. So close, but I needed to sit for a second.

That’s when Stuart let me in on a little secret. He asked if I had seen Angela’s post on Facebook. Uh…maybe he didn’t notice…I’m running here! No, I haven’t been on Facebook! My friend had offered to buy me a beer for every mile past 100k. I didn’t believe him. I made him show me the post. Bring it on!

Disclaimer: I am not condoning using alcohol as a motivator for exercise. I am perfectly fine with bargaining, however. Beer sounded horrible at that moment. It was more about the challenge for me…then. I’m completely enjoying the beer during my recovery time! 

I got up and took off before Stuart had the chance to join me! 3 laps to 100k!

Beep. I stopped to update everyone. Stuart made a game of updating Angela every time I ticked off another mile to let her know how many beers she owed me. It was funny at first, but then we got caught up in the stories he had planned to tell me.

nc24 stuart

Stuart had volunteered for the 2-5am shift. Good ultra-Sherpa. I’m sure I had mentioned this was going to be the hardest time for me. By 2am, it’s been dark for a while, and sunrise is a long way off. Luckily the full moon was a few days prior, and combined with the clouds it was pretty bright. I never asked him to carry anything, and he certainly wasn’t pacing me. It was more like “Follow me around and talk my ear off.” I was thankful. Someone’s tent was robbed earlier, and I didn’t want to be alone. It was around this time that I saw how few people were still on the course. Even Tent City was pretty quiet. Some people had left, some were sleeping, and some of us were slowly circling the loop. A few people were still lapping me on a regular basis…Harvey and Greg. Jill and Lecia. Machines. But that’s when I realized all the people I hadn’t seen in a long time. I hoped they were all right.

Beep. We walked most of these miles. Stuart’s stories were hysterical. These people he knows are real winners…of Darwin Awards. Or they should be. I had to stop a few times because I was laughing so hard. My abs hurt so badly, and the laughing didn’t help. It was totally worth it!

Beep. As we passed the aid station, volunteers would yell out new options they had…especially hot ones. “Hot chicken noodle soup!” Hot soup sounded good, but as many of you know, I’m a vegetarian, and chicken broth could destroy the good thing I had going. Not worth the risk. I had no GI issues, and I wasn’t taking any chances.

Beep. “Cheese sandwich.” I hadn’t had cheese yet, and it made me nervous. The she said “HOT!” and I turned right around. The BEST grilled cheese ever. Probably not, but it hit the spot.

At 5am, I could tell Stuart needed a break. I sat for a few minutes too, knowing I had plenty of time. I yawned for the first time. All my goals were met…every step was gravy from here on out. I asked if 80 miles was a possibility. We thought I could do it.  I wasn’t really tired, just needed a new distraction. And maybe another sip of Coke.  I flipped on my iPod, grabbed an Ensure, and drank it slowly on the next lap.

Beep. Time and miles ticked by. I saw Kelly occasionally, and she looked strong despite complaints about her blistered feet. Mine hurt too, but it was a nerve issue. This path was paved, but not like the tar-covered Olentangy Trail back home. This was rock and cement dust. Hard. Yikes. The grass along the path was “off-limits,” but I longed for the soft ground.

nc24 tory

Beep. It’s light now and the sun is almost up. Tory was awake and I was thankful to watch the sunrise with her. For the first time since noon on Saturday I was hungry. Hunger is a good sign! I was tired of forcing food when everything sounded terrible. The volunteers were making breakfast…egg sandwiches and I wanted one! All they had left was ham, and although I appreciated the offer, pulling the ham off a sandwich wouldn’t work for me. They were making more, and I agreed to stop by on my next lap. I waited for Tory to use the bathroom, and the volunteer noticed I was still there. She called me over, and put a whole egg and cheese sandwich wrapped in paper towel in my hands. It was still steaming. “Now get moving!” I could have kissed her! I tried not to inhale it.

Beep. I wanted to run at the end, but I didn’t know if I had anything left. At 8am, I ditched the pants. It was still cold, and the wind and spray from the lake was freezing! But it kept me awake and moving. Finishing in my sweat pants was NOT an option. We started running short bursts to get my legs moving again. It was tough. Gradually the segments were longer, but it took a lot of effort. I told Tory I was going to get my marker and walk it out. I had met all my goals for the race…and I was going to do the whole 24 hours! It wasn’t worth hurting myself.

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Beep. With 15 minutes to go, a volunteer put the block in my hand that would serve to mark my position when time was up. I walked up the hill, and thought “Screw it!” I took off running. I ran with everything I had left. I wonder what my crew was thinking when I came around the corner so soon.

nc24 laps

Beep. I said “Thought I’d log one more lap before I put this down.” They cheered. Five minutes left…I felt like I was flying at this point. Of course, most people still on the course are walking, so comparatively, I was. Except for the leaders, who whipped past me like I was standing still. I found out later I ran my last full lap at a 10:00 pace, and the last .62 sub-9:00. 23 hours and 45 minutes into the race and I could run? No way! Certainly the fastest I’d been all day…and night…and the last year! Isn’t adrenaline awesome. I didn’t feel pressure until the last 15 minutes. That’s when this became a race for me!

The alarm sounded, I placed my block and walked away…but not before I called Stuart over to take my finish picture!

nc24 finish

My crew broke down the camp site while I tried to choke down some breakfast, but for the first time, I felt lethargic. I listened while they announced the top 3, and then we had to go…before I couldn’t walk to the car. The drive home was uncomfortable, and I could barely comprehend what I had just done. By the time we got home 2.5 hours later, I had no choice but to stumble into the house, take a hot shower and curl up on the couch. And sleep.

Here’s my results:

83.542 miles completed

34/115 Starters

9/46 Women

4/18 Women 0-39 AG

Number of beers earned: 22 (we rounded up!)

A total of 8,516.47 miles were completed by all participants around the 0.9mi loop at  North Coast this fall. That’s a pretty awesome number!

nc24 bling

So the big question: Will I run a 24 hour race again? 

Yes! No doubt. I already have my eye on one next spring.

And the bigger question: Am I ready to start thinking about training for a 100 miler?

Surprise! Didn’t expect that!

I wanted to post to say I made it…all 24hrs…and I’m recovering. I’m waiting for final results from the race. I completed 92 laps for 82.9mi, but there’s a bit extra they have to add for the partial lap at the end. In the meantime, here’s a list of things I didn’t expect to see/happen during the North Coast 24hr Endurance Run:

  • Race Director Dan shoveling sand off the course
  • Participants running with umbrellas
  • A groundhog
  • The night to be so long…and bright
  • A participant doing a handstand on the course
  • Vegan pizza, burritos, hot dogs and burgers! Yeah!
  • So much deal-making with myself, and the offer of beers-for-miles via Facebook to be so tempting…and motivating
  • The smallest hill to look like a mountain after 40+ laps (the headwind didn’t help!)
  • A cheese sandwich cooked on a camp stove to taste SO GOOD at 3am!
  • Needing so little of what I brought, but better safe than sorry!
  • Fireworks!
  • Harvey Lewis run an amazing 150mi, and still take time to talk to most of the race participants
  • Wind surfing on Lake Erie
  • A man running in a flowery skirt, from start to finish
  • TWO wedding parties, both with bridesmaids in purple
  • The urge to run after 23hrs and 45min and sprint the finish
  • So many people stumbling along through the night, when others would have given up!
  • A shop that sold both worms and ice cream…gross!
  • And lastly…that I would make it to 50 miles so quickly (for me)!

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Like I said…full recap is coming! Ill be adding to this list as I recall more!

Ramblings on the eve of Race Day

‘s here. The race is tomorrow. If you recall, the Fall rendition of the NorthCoast 24hr Endurance Run is to be my goal race…for the year. That’s a lot of pressure, mainly enforced by myself.

Here’s how the rest of the taper went…
Taper Week 2: 42 miles. I had planned on 40…but I’m not the exact-type as running goes. I took Monday, Tuesday, and Friday off. My foot was bothering me…first one before I ran, then the other afterward. They’d switch back and forth. I rested and iced…no relief. I stretched…no relief. I ran…no relief! I couldn’t pinpoint the pain, nor could I find a spot that hurt with pressure. My feet hurt just as much with pressure as without.

Yup…you guessed it. THIS is taper madness. There is NOTHING wrong with my foot. Neither of them. Stupid brain!

I ran 15 miles with some friends on Saturday who were running their 20 miler as a part of marathon training. Two of them had never run this far, and I was glad to talk their ear off for a few hours. On Sunday, I woke up early to pace the Fall Scioto Miles 15k with the Fleet Feet Pace Team. I wasn’t originally on the schedule due to the proximity to race day, but when I found out that a friend (Laurie) would be pacing the 2:15 finish (that’s a 14:29/mi pace), I knew the walking would be good for me. And 9miles walking without foot pain was great for my head!

Race Week: I debated taking the whole week off. I had lunchtime drinks with a friend (Thanks Ang!), and skipped my regular Monday workout in favor of rest. On Tuesday I ran 3 easy TM miles. Wednesday was my planned “dress rehearsal.” I woke up at the planned time, got dressed, made breakfast, then sat for 3 hours to simulate driving time. I read a book, knit, and watched the sunrise. Wonderful! At 9am, I ran for an hour: super easy to start, and worked up to my “race pace” towards the end. I practiced my intervals. I felt great…like I could run forever. A good feeling, since on Saturday I would be. I met friends that night for my Regular workout, and they accommodated my need to shuffle the run. Two days of rest…and here we are.

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I’m packed. I have enough clothes to wear for a week…in every possible climate. Who packs tanks/shorts AND a jackets/tights for the same event? I do. And a rain poncho, winter hat/gloves, and three pairs of shoes. Maybe four…I’m not sure yet. Everything is charging. My crew is ready (I hope!). I drank half of my coffee this morning before the shaking started. Then I wanted to throw up. I think I might cry (again). Floods of emotion. It’s difficult to explain.

Here’s the link for live race updates:
http://www.northcoast24.org

Unfortunately you’ll need flash in order to view it, so all you mobile users will need an app to view it. Don’t buy it, just switch to a desktop or laptop. I’ll wait….

I’ll also try to tweet some updates at milestone intervals using the hashtag #NC24.

Taper Week 1

Oddly enough, the madness hasn’t taken over. Not yet. Perhaps because I don’t know what I’m in for. Maybe it’s due to the fact that I know I can finish this race…one loop is all it takes to avoid the DNS/DNF. But more than likely, it’s the 56 miles that I ran this week…during taper? What? That’s insane.

A year ago, 55 miles would have been a peak training week for a marathon. Heck…I wouldn’t have run past 50.

Two years ago, I was in the midst of training for my first marathon, and my longest run was 18 miles.

I can’t believe it’s been three weeks since the big training run at the lake. I should probably fill you in:
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Suffice it to say, it went well. I joined a fellow runner who is training for the same race. He had started at 5am with two mutual friends, but i couldn’t get out there so early. At 7am, I met the three of them, and we circled the lake once before they left. A little fast for my warm-up lap…they were cruising close to 9:00 pace.

Then it was the two of us for the next two hours. The pace was still fast for me (closer to 10s), and at least once I asked him to leave me and go ahead. He offered to slow down, but that rarely works…the more we talked, the faster we ran. I really didn’t mind.

I knew this would tire my legs faster, but I didn’t have a real mileage or time goal for the day. I packed enough food to be out there through the afternoon, but after that I was winging it. Tiring my legs from the start would give me an idea of what the later hours of the race might feel like. And that seemed like an experience worth checking out.

I had offered to run a “virtual” half with a twitter friend, so made sure to check my watch (and the time) around that distance. 13.1mi in 2:18. Definitely faster than I’ll be on race day. I sent her a quick tweet to mark the milestone, and kept going. I tried not to look at my watch. At all. We were joined by friends throughout the morning and afternoon, which made the time pass quickly.

I passed the marathon mark with Doug, and shortly after, the 50K distance with Andrea. Then my watch died. An expected event, so I had quickly done some math to estimate how many more laps until 40mi. I wasn’t sure I could run that far, but I liked that it was a round number. With about 3 loops to go, I dropped to a walk. I would make it, but this wasn’t a race, and I had already proved to myself this was doable. There was no point in hurting myself, or pushing any harder.

So I finished 40.22 miles, in 1.2mi loops in 8.5hrs. That includes aid stops. Not too shabby. The trail is mostly packed sand and pea gravel, but don’t let that fool you. It’s hard. Harder than asphalt. And I took a beating. That’s the trail…on the right:
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Just over a week ago, I headed out with friends to run what I thought would be a 50K…my last long run. Turns out Mother Nature had other plans…and blasted us with heat and humidity. Everyone that came out put in their very best, and made smart decisions regarding when to call it a day. The trails looked great. And I’m happy that we all enjoyed time together on a holiday weekend. We’ll do that again…maybe when it’s not so hot.
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And then I started the taper. I feel healthy. I’m mentally ready. The only thing I’m stressed about is that other people are involved, and I don’t trust easily. I like to be the one giving…I don’t like to ask for help.But I can’t do this without them. Sure…I have to do the hard stuff (running is hard!), but taking care of a tired and cranky adult all night certainly cannot be fun. It’s a sacrifice. This is where running becomes a team sport. And I’m going to have to get over it.

If you’ve read this far, and plan on being there for the race…even to stop by and say hello…or you’re in the Cleveland area, would you let me know? I’d love to look forward to friendly faces.

I’m still here…

Sometimes life gets in the way.

Despite your best attempts at keeping everything moving forward, you fall. Lose touch. Forget.

The last month has been a dark place for me. And though my running has been progressing with much success, my writing has fallen by the wayside.

I don’t feel inspired to say anything.

I just wanted to let you know that I’m still here. Still alive. Still training. I started my taper for the 24hr race this week. That means a break for my body. That also means my mind is racing all hours of the night.

Is it enough? Am I ready? Does it matter at this point?
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The support I thought I would have on race day…the faces I thought I’d see…won’t be there. I’m disappointed. Again. I do have some wonderful friends that have stepped in, but I’m still left with a sadness I can’t escape. I thought I was someone I’m not. I thought I had a place…that I mattered. I don’t. Not to some anyway. Not to those that who I chose to matter to me. I was wrong.

I’m working on a training wrap-up. I hope to have it posted before the weekend. Until then…